Recession and redundancy.

It's no wonder that since the dawn of time men and women spent their days separately and evenings together. It's God's way keeping men and women from literally killing each other. Job loss of a spouse and a sudden reduction of income is a huge source of strain on any family but imagine if you have to see your spouse at home all day, that's the worst part, more than the job loss itself I am surprised that World War III hasn't started yet. Men are not meant to stay home. I know there is a new trend of stay-at-home dads due to this being a man's recession, but it's a bad idea. Men do not have the patience nor fortitude to do domestic chores and child care 24/7. It's a bore, it will whittle down whatever masculinity they have left from losing their jobs and turn them into angry tyrants, which we will bear the brunt of. Women have no choice, we have done it since the dawn of man, and most women don't prefer it much but we deal with it, just like we deal with everything else not groan about it. It has to be done, chores don't get done on their own, so just grit your teeth and get on with it: try telling a man that. 


The old adage "familiarity breeds contempt" has never been more true in this situation. Familiarity means that you have to watch your husband do things his way in the home, may it be laundry, chores, dishwashing, cooking or even something as mundane as fixing the DVR player. You suddenly realize that that's not the way you do it and you think the way he does it so awkward or wrong. 


For instance, take mopping the floors, we have tiled floors so mopping is a cinch, just a bucket of hot water with some natural floor cleaner and a sponge mop, run it through a couple of times and it should be all set. But no, when my husband mops the floor, it looks like my home just experienced a torrential downpour. The floor is sopping wet for hours, where no one can step on because foot prints will be left behind. Not only that, he gets angry when anyone walks on his newly cleaned floors. I can't walk to my garage, I can't stroll in my yard, all because it requires me stepping on 'his' clean floors. It's totally maddening. When I challenge him on it, he says that it's how professionals do it. Well, the last time I checked, he has never been a janitor nor has he ever cleaned anyone's home for a living. It's total rubbish, but how do you tell your spouse that they way they mop the floors is ridiculous? It sounds ridiculous just saying it out loud to myself. 


So, what did I do? I told him that his floor mopping duties are over and that I will mop from now. I have just added one extra chore on my list-I have taken away the one chore that he has agreed to do, one that he does not find repulsive or beneath him to do-like cleaning the toilets. I think when times are better, I shall hire a cleaner. This will end my frustration and anger when it comes to household chores. No wonder experts say that chores are a huge source or argument in marriages, after money and in-laws. I now know why, the implications run deep, if not divided equitably or fairly, it leaves one person feeling like the maid. Though it was me who chose to mop floors, I would rather tire myself out with one more chore than hear his moaning about the stupid floors. I don't want to be made to feel that someone is doing me a huge favor by mopping the floors and I must not leave behind one spec of dust for at least a week. 


You will wonder why I just don't talk about this with him, you see, I come from the school of 'talking is pointless unless a settlement can be reached'. My husband is a good man and a good husband, but stubborn and set in his ways. Talking about it will only create more conflict, but what I am most afraid of is revealing to him how I really feel about everything. Because right now, I keep my contempt and anger very well hidden, by avoiding him during the day, pretending that he is at 'work' somewhere and not in my space.