"If I ever marry, I will marry an orphan"

One of my very favorite people said to me once, "if I ever marry, I will marry and orphan." She is still happily single, of her own choosing. She told me this in my teen years, when I was full of confusion and anger at the world around me. I had a great laugh then but it is now I realize the wisdom of her words.

Orphans have no parents, no extended family ergo no baggage that comes with family. The shrill mother-in-law, the gruff and grunting father-in-law, and the sleazy uncle, all of which you have to be nice and cordial to, even on your worst day--none of that exists. One has to be in a marriage of blended families to appreciate the difficulties that present themselves when two families are trying to merge. I feel that marriage is an exercise in self-restraint. Restraint to not say what you really want to say but you feel wronged and infringed upon if it never gets said. It's always a battle of who is going to be the adult? Me or the husband? Somehow it always falls on me to be the adult, at least that's my perception. And it's very difficult to have to be the adult all the time, in fact it's infuriating.

It's no wonder that men get extra benefits from the institution of marriage, they get family structure and security that a single man would not have, and to achieve this I have to be the adult in the relationship. I have to be the one to maintain peace. That's the small price I pay for the security of marriage and family.